Love Your Neighbour As Yourself

What if you don’t love yourself?

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

These verses are how I choose to weigh love.

If I don’t have these in relation to someone, I can’t claim to love them.

But that’s just me.

And this post is not about me.

It’s totally about you.

Do You Love Your Neighbour As Yourself?

Now, I know Jesus says loving God and your neighbour as yourself are the greatest commandments.

Now, if you don’t love yourself as Paul to the Corinthians defines love, I’m not sure I want you to love me like you love you.

No shade. I just would rather have you not love me than “love” me in a way that harms/hurts me. You know?

So, How Do You Love Yourself?

1. Are you patient with yourself?
2. Are you kind to yourself?
3. Are you comfortable with yourself? Jealousy and envy come from a place of feeling inferior.
4. Do you have your own back? Not betraying yourself to please others because you know your voice matters.
5. Do you protect yourself? By setting boundaries and calling a spade a spade.
6. Do you trust yourself? If you don’t, you won’t be able to trust others so you end up being controlling because we control what we don’t trust.
7. Do you show up for yourself? Even if it means standing alone.
8. Are you forgiving to and gracious with yourself? Understanding that you are human and messing up is part of the “being human gig.”
9. Are you committed to yourself? Do you keep your word to yourself? Do you honour yourself?
10. Do you respect yourself? Enough to walk away from a toxic situation. Enough to ask for what you deserve.

Of course, Jesus knew what He was talking about when He said to love your neighbour as yourself.

He knows just how capable we are of wanting the very best for ourselves. He wants us to have that same energy for others.

I think He was referring to our pure, innocent selves — the us before life happens to us

However, life happens, and trauma with it and that can shift how you see yourself.

Traumas will rob you of your God-likeness and leave you feeling worthless and defective.

That’s how you end up as a toxic person or in toxic spaces.

You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t give from an empty place.

I’m big on obeying God’s commands and, I’mma need you to check in on you first, before you try to check in on others.

I’ll need you to learn to love you first before you can attempt to love me (me here represents everyone else outside of you)

I say this because you are important and worthy of your love. Before you give love to anyone else, first give it to yourself.

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” – Paulo Coelho

Xo,

adoyosmusings