People Don’t Care About You As Much As You Think They Do

Or as much as they think they do. And that’s OK.

Moulding Beauty
3 min readApr 7


Photo by Bonnie Kittle on Unsplash

We just need to be honest about it.

But that’s a difficult goal to achieve because we care too much about how we look than how we really are.

Or who we are.

To fully embrace yourself, you need to be self-aware. That includes being real about the good and not so good parts of you.

That last part is where most people struggle with.

We all know we are imperfect, but somehow, we believe we are so much better than we are.

And keeping up appearances does take a toll. Sometimes, that’s why we project.

Brenè Brown once said we judge in the spaces we are most insecure about.

And therein comes the lie most of us tell ourselves.

I care about you so much.

We forget the second part of the statement

Only if it doesn’t cramp my style or if it doesn’t include me sacrificing my comfort.

I’mma give you a minute to clutch at your imaginary pearls.

Then, extend some grace to you as you come to the realisation that sometimes you have said you cared, and maybe you really wanted to believe it to be true, until the rubber met the road, and you realised it required more than you were willing to sacrifice your comfort for.

And to protect your ideal self-image, you probably came up with an excuse that made sense to you as to why you couldn’t show up for this person you promised you care for.

You are OK helping and showing up as long as it’s on your terms and within your comfort. As long as it’s not an inconvenience to you.

Today, being Good Friday, the day Jesus sacrificed His life, even though He really didn’t want to, its even more sobering to think about this.

My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will. — Matthew 26:39

His dying was a sacrifice to help humanity. If God had given Him another way out, based on His words above, He probably would have taken it.

But He lay it all down.

Would you do the same?

No. Not die for someone. I mean, I wouldn’t challenge anyone on that.

But would you inconvenience yourself for the sake of someone you care for?

Would you deny yourself something important to you because someone else needed it more?

Would you choose to be uncomfortable for someone else’s comfort?

It’s easy to post the finger and be like, “Yes. People don’t care as much as they say they do”

But when you realise you are part of “people” how does that shift the narrative for you?

Because it’s very easy for us to want compassion and kindness and grace and mercy extended to us.

Do unto others as you would like it to be done unto you.

So, don’t get mad at people in your life when they say they’re going to show up because of how much they care and they fail to.

It’s not always because they don’t want to; sometimes they’re just being human. Just like you.

So give both them and you a slack.

However, always remember that you are in control of you. That means if you want to change how you show up, that’s all within your power to do. And that’s on you. You can’t get mad at other people for making the choices they make about their lives. After all, you’re not the boss of them.


Adoyo’s Musings



Moulding Beauty

Be unapologetically you | musings about humaning.