Why Do You Put People In Boxes?

Photo by Nik on Unsplash

Because it’s easy.

It requires no effort from you, to judge a book by its cover.

The box is already made. With it are the specifications of who “fits” in which box.

You, therefore, go out in the world with these specifications in your hand, and the moment you see someone, you start the labelling.

The box can be specified in different ways:

1. One’s skin colour
2. One’s origin
3. One’s tribe
4. One’s education level
5. One’s hair and/or clothing.
6. One’s job description

The list can go on and on but you get the picture.

Yet what meets the eye is often the least interesting thing about a person.

I mean, have you ever read a book where the cover was the most interesting thing about it?

To read a book, however, takes time and intentionality. It also requires interest.

Often, you’re too caught up with yourself and your ideologies and your ego telling you just how superior you are, to take the time to know someone before judging them and putting them away.

Oh yeah, if you judge, you are also showing your hand — you think you’re better.

To be quick to judge is to reveal more about you than the person you’re judging.

People in my life always say that I know a lot of people.

This is true.

I think it has something to do with how open-minded I am and the fact that I give people the benefit of doubt when I meet them.

Being open allows me to be genuinely interested in people. You feel when a person is open or not.

And though we may not say it out loud, belonging is a very basic human need.

To feel comfortable wherever you go is a basic human need.

But someone has to be the first one to offer it.

I don’t mind being the first one to make people feel comfortable.

And that leads to them opening up, which leads to the pleasure of getting to interact with the magic that lives within them.

Queen Maya Angelou did say,

People will never forget how you make them feel.

I’m willing to be the one who invests my time and energy first.

It’s almost impossible to judge someone once you get up close and candid.

You get to know their context, and that allows you to understand why they are the way they are.

There’s no generalised box to fit them in after that.

It’s a thing of beauty.

I often say, “If you don’t have the time to know someone, you shouldn’t have the time to judge them.”

I know, it’s my idealist self that says that. And that’s OK. I’d rather keep believing and hoping for a better world than accept the status quo, which is just the lazy response.

Yup. Being judgy is simply lazy.

Anyways, this is my musing for the day.

You can take it in and really think about what drives you to put people in boxes and then go ahead and rectify that — it is a free world after all. (Somewhat free)

Or, you can write me off as just some random person on the Internet talking too much and keep doing what you’re doing.

All the same, love and light and kindness to you.

Xo,

adoyosmusings